In many traditional families in Hawaii, it was a ritual to tell your story of the day in the evening, including events in which someone didn’t speak his best words. Thus, it was possible to ask for forgiveness and to go to sleep in peace – enter the dream world.
You can make it a habit to reflect on the day every night after eating or before going to bed. What were you planning in the morning, what happened to your plans? What happened unexpectedly? What was nice? What did you learn new? What was your highlight of the day? What were injuries etc.? So you can thank, clean up and realign yourself.
If you make the tool of reflection a habit with your family members, you will create a familiar framework in which injuries can be addressed, too. This way, no heaps of pain can be piled up. And you are able to meet again purely and freely.
A structured form of speaking, for example with a talking stick, is a great help. More about the Circle Way —>
However, if you live with young people, for example, then cleverly find your version of how to bring it in. Carefully, gently and clearly, with words that do not seem strange to them, such as “It is important to me to hear each of us on this subject without being interrupted”. And stay tuned to claim that. It’s not always necessary to have a talking stick.
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